What in the world is a frustrated Frankophile to do? Well, your fretting days are over. Now, with the amazing new miracle Frank-ylizer®, you can quit pulling your hair out and have more time to yourself for drinking to the sounds of Sinatra! How can this be, you ask? Well, prepare yourself for a step into the tomorrow of the future: After eight years of highly complex research experiments, our scientists have created an exclusive “miracle process” that we call Sinatr-o-phonic® (patent pending). By utilizing this revolutionary technology, the [[tt:incredible]] Frank-ylizer® can actually analyze your unique tastes and personal needs! And the result of this breakthrough in the annals of science is nothing less than blessed relief at last for millions of troubled and overstimulated Sinatra sufferers; ordinary people who live in your own back yard, just like you!